On March 3, 2020, my life and hundreds, or thousands of people in Nashville and in Middle TN woke up to a very intense tornado that was on top of us before most of us had time to react. In the days that have followed, I’ve been an emotional wreck, I’ve been trying to piece back together my life in hopes of feeling some sense of normalcy again. I’ve had to try to find a new place to live since my entire building has been condemned by the city. I’ve had to figure out what I can and cannot save from the extensive damage in my home & from it being exposed to the elements for the last few days. I’ve had really bad nightmares, but I’ve also received so much love and encouragement and prayers from people all over the country.

When I woke up that night, I heard what sounded like pops and breaking glass. Disoriented, I stumbled to my living room thinking that someone was inside of my apartment complex shooting and that was why the windows were busting. But, then I heard the freight train sound. I knew exactly what it was. Then my windows in my living busted and glass flew everywhere. I ran to my bedroom to grab my dog and throw him into my bathroom before the windows in my bedroom could bust as well. I knew that I would likely be hit by that glass when it would bust and I wanted my baby to be safe. At this point, I knew that the tornado was right on top of us because I could hear things flying around inside of my apartment. I grabbed my comforter and covered myself in the fetal position on the other side of my bed to block myself from glass or debris hitting me. I waited for what felt like an hour but was likely just a minute or two before it was quiet. I went into complete shock. I ran into my hallway to make sure that I wasn’t dreaming and I could hear through the pitch black dark that my neighbors were crying, they were yelling for someone to call 911, it was like a scene from a movie. It felt like a bad dream. I ran back into my apartment, put on clothes, grabbed towels and threw them on my floor because I was worried about getting charged for the water damage to my wood flooring…something that sounds crazy now in hindsight, but I didn’t know that things were as bad as they were at the time. I couldn’t find my cat anywhere, so I assumed that he had been sucked out of the window by the storm since he usually sat there. I had a vague memory of seeing him in my closet when I was putting on shoes and a jacket, but I couldn’t remember exactly. I mean, I was in shock, I was trying to keep myself from an anxiety attack at any second.

I put my dog’s leash on and I ran as fast as I could with my neighbors to get away from the building because we were afraid of what structural damage had occurred. Murphy was absolutely panicked and so confused as we left the building and when we got onto the streets, I then realized just how terrible things were. A lot of what happened in between going back inside my apartment to put on clothes and then leaving is a complete blur for me. I only can remember snippets of what happened. At one point while on the street, I picked up my dog (those of you who know him, know he is not very light) and carried him around debris because he was so scared to walk through it with me. I spent the next 7 hours inside the Nashville Farmers Market & we were told that another tornado would be hitting us in 3 hours. We were down inside the basement for a while but were let back up once we knew that there was no longer any lingering threat of another storm. I waited and waited until it was daylight and a friend and her uncle came and picked me up and my Dad met me at their house in Green Hills.

After my Dad picked me up, we took my dog to the vet to be checked out and boarded and then went back to my complex to see if we could possibly find my cat, if he was actually in the closet like I thought he was. My dad was in shock at how horrific my neighborhood was, and how bad my complex was. He is a man who worked for an electric power company for YEARS and saw some of the worst things since he worked after hurricanes have devastated where I grew up. He helped me remain calm, and he helped me return back to the outside of my complex where there were already volunteers beginning to clear debris away from the streets outside of my complex. My complex’s regional manager was standing outside, and I ran over to her and begged for her to let me go into my apartment to get my cat and see if I could salvage any clothes to take with me. Keep in mind, we were told that sprinkler systems had gone off in our apartments and it was flooded, we were told that our parking garage had collapsed, we were told we wouldn’t be able to return to our apartments for at least a month. I was panicked, and still in shock.

Maverick, my cat, was inside the closet laying next to his carrier like he knew I was coming back for him. I came face to face with all of the destruction inside my apartment again, and it brought tears to my eyes. I grabbed ALL that I could and looking back, I don’t even know why I packed some of the things that I did. But, the first thing I grabbed to pack was a picture of my parents & I from my high school graduation that I’ve had in my dorm rooms, in my apartments & houses in college, and that is always displayed proudly in my home. Because they’re my rock. They’re the ones who pick me up when I’ve fallen, the ones who encourage me, who pray for me every single day, who have led and guided me, and loved me for my shortcomings. I couldn’t stand to not take that picture with me. That picture was one of the only things that survived the destruction in that corner of my living room.

The days that followed, I was overwhelmed with emotions, with grief, but the love and prayers and support from all over this country for me drowned out everything else. Friends and family called to check on me, social media followers reached out and helped me with the financial burdens of the disaster, and with replacing things that I lost. Friends have let me cry, have let me talk over and over again about what happened, have prayed with me. Those that know a lot about me know that I have a rocky past when it comes to the church; not with my faith in Christ, but with the Church. I received a phone call from a member of the church that I periodically attend here in Nashville a few days after the tornado, and she listened to me, she prayed for me, and she encouraged me. THAT was a precious moment in my life. To feel that unconditional love and acceptance and to know that my church was praying for me by name. Not praying for me to be one way or another, not praying that I would attend every single Sunday, but praying that I would become stronger in the days and weeks and months after this deadly storm.

I’m not naive to think that I am the one who has suffered the most in this tragedy. I’m not even close. There are families who truly lost every single thing that they own, there are families who are burying loved ones. But does that negate the anxiety I feel every time I go to sleep? No. Does that mean that my worries and stress and heartache are negated simply because I was able to salvage my things and move into a beautiful new home quickly? No. I have friends and neighbors that lived in my complex who lost a dog, who still have not been able to access their apartments to see what and if they can salvage ANYTHING. I pray for those families every single day. I pray for strength for them every single day.

Middle Tennessee and Nashville, in particular, has shown up and shown out in ways that major groups like the American Red Cross say they have never seen before. TENS OF THOUSANDS of volunteers have had to be turned away because there were TOO MANY volunteers. Elisabeth Hasselback, former View co-host, said that she heard from the Red Cross that they haven’t seen a city come together like this to rebuild since New York City after 9/11. We will rebuild, we will rise again, we will see God move across our city. We will see all of us come together. Watching footage of the people working to clean up and help each other has moved me to tears every single time. Because no one cares what you look like, how you pray, what you identify as, who you love, who you voted for; we’re neighbors and we’re all in this together.

We’re lifting each other up, and that’s what our nation should look like every single day. Not just when disasters strike. So, I urge you, call your friends and family and tell them that you love them, reach out to that person who lives next to you, let them know you’re there if they need anything. If you don’t have a relationship with Jesus, pray and believe. That’s what makes my anxiety subside when I can barely get in another breath. He is the only reason I have been able to walk away unscathed from the destruction and trauma I endured.

Eyes forward, grateful heart, Nashville strong.